Tips to mediating a hostile divorce

“This article has been produced by an independent contributor and does not reflect the views and opinions of the Immediation team or the brand as a whole.”

Hostile divorces resulting from a difficult spouse can derail attempts for an amicable settlement. Besides self-reflecting on your own conduct, the cooperative spouse should attempt to try and understand the underlying reasons for the difficult spouse’s intransigence. 


Reasons for being difficult 


Divorce mediation has been proven extremely effective in helping parties achieve divorce at a lower cost, in lesser time and lesser rancour.


A spouse’s uncooperative behaviour may be reflective of a fear of financial instability, vindictiveness toward the other spouse, intention to wear down the other spouse to gain an advantage in negotiations and concessions, a desire to reconcile and not divorce.


By working to understand the underlying issues faced by both parties, the mediator facilitates a cooperative environment during mediation sessions, which help reduce the hostility. 


Listening to the uncooperative spouse’s opinions to stake out reasonable positions will push for a successful divorce mediation.


A skilled and experienced divorce mediator is able to always keep sight of the ultimate goal. The focus is on both parties’ and their children’s best interests.


By providing alternative suggestions to disagreements while remaining even-tempered and well-mannered, parties will be able to address the root of the problems in an effective way. 



The power of compromise


Every successful mediation stems from the ability to compromise. Successful divorce mediations happen as a result of compromise – and the willingness to compromise is the most effective weapon against a difficult spouse.


Positioning yourself with reasonableness with an understanding of your spouse’s point of view will help tremendously in mediation sessions when trying to find an amicable solution.


Outrageous demands such as sole physical and legal of the children or sole entitlement to the entire marital estate won’t go far in negotiations – and will most likely create an even further hostile environment. Being reasonable while considering the best interests of all parties involved allows you to have room to bargain.


Remember, trying to find common ground does not mean that you’re yielding to your spouse.


Choosing online divorce mediation over traditional divorce mediation


One of the prime benefits of online family mediation is the absence of physical presence, which may negatively affect the party on the lesser end of an imbalance in power. As there isn’t a sense of physical threat during the mediation sessions, the party at the lesser end of an imbalance of power will most likely feel more control over their interests. 


Further, with online divorce mediation, you gain access to the best divorce mediators at a fraction of the cost. For example, all of the expert mediators on the Immediation panel are Nationally Accredited Mediators (NMAS) and have decades of experience under their belts with high profile clients and complex cases making up their portfolios.


Add this advantage to convenience in the comfort of your home, flexible schedules that can operate outside of working hours, on top of the time and costs benefits, you can immediately see why online mediation is an attractive way to resolve a hostile divorce.


Get in touch with Immediation and find out how we can help you resolve your divorce matter today.